One third of my true feelings
by Yuzu
Summary: [complete] 1/3 no junjou na kanjou. Tomoyo and Eriol end up sleeping together after Sakura and Syaoran's wedding. They part and years later meet up again. Can they really be together? The usual fluff.
1. Turn to Me

_For the person that lies closest to my heart. I love you._

__________________________________ 

Author: Nayru Ikari, now better known as Yuzu-chan.  
Title: 1/3 no junjou na kanjou  
**_Title meaning: One third of my true feelings  
_** Fandom: Cardcaptor Sakura  
Genre: Angst/Romance  
Pairing: Tomoyo/Eriol  
Rating: PG-13  
Finished: 21/07/2002  
Disclaimer: The concept Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to CLAMP, Kodansha and another horde of japanese companies + one canadian dubbing company that will go unnamed. "1/3 no junjou na kanjou" belongs to Siam Shade. It's a Rurouni Kenshin ending theme. Neither Love Hina or the song "Winter Wish" belongs to me either. Either way, I would rather not this be posted anywhere without my permission. Don't steal. I bite.

Nayru's Rants: Well then.. I decided(with a little help from my friend, Cali) that I would write and post this before I started on Omoide no Mori(for those who do not know; The sequel to Kiseki no Umi). Well, then... enjoy! 

_**WARNINGS: OOC and lots off fluff.**_

  
  
**1/3 no junjou na kanjou**

  
  
Tomoyo stirred, then immediately wished she hadn't. The pain throbbing in her head head reminded her how much she had drunk last night. She'd been at Sakura and Li-kun's wedding... It had started out a few coctails, then someone had ordered her a martini.. She couldn't really remember who, it was all very fuzzy as if someone had drawn a veil over her mind. She remembered taking someone home with her, but not whom.

Slowly, her heavy eyelashes fluttered open, illuminating two amethyst orbs. The sunlight was streaming through her white curtains, casting rays of yellow on her floor. Tomoyo turned her head and in between her pillows she could see someone with dark-blue hair. She smiled and touched his shoulder.

He opened his eyes and smiled. A slender hand was resting on his shoulder. He reached for it and kissed it tenderly before turning around.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Hiiragizawa-kun!!!"

"Daidouji-san!!!"

They both jumped out of the bed at the sight of eachother. Tomoyo flushed scarlet as she tugged the blanket to her and he was left with nothing. She noticed he was lean, yet thin and fragile looking. And he was pale. Like her.

"C-Cover yourself up!" She managed to choke out before she turned away, her face even more flushed, if possible. It wasn't like she hadn't seen a man naked before, but this was Eriol.. Her classmate in elementary school. They were friends. Oh god, this couldn't become more embarresing.

"We didn't... do anything, did we?"

OK, she was wrong, it did get worse. Shaking her head slightly, she replied. "We couldn't.. I mean... We're us... It- We- No!"

She could see Eriol blushing like mad too and added in an undertone "Are you not going... to put something on?" He grabbed his pants from the floor(Tomoyo could vaguely remember herself throwing them down there in the nightly hours before...) and quickly put them on.

"Do you... em.. want breakfast?" She asked weakly, tucking the blanket more around herself. He nodded sheepishly. She walked out of the room, calling behind her "I just have to shower first, ok?"

  
  
The water ran in heavy streams over Tomoyo's head. She was sitting on the floor under her shower. It was rather enjoyable, the mirror fogging up and such, but she was wondering what the hell she was doing.

_Kami-sama.... What did you think you were doing, inviting him to breakfast? You should've just kicked him out.._

She sighed. "You're such an idiot, Tomoyo! Baka baka baka!"

"I wouldn't say that..." Came an amused deep voice behind her. She jumped around and saw Eriol standing there, smirk in place, leaning against the door-frame. "What the HELL do you think you're doing?!?!"

"Well.. I _was_ thinking of joining you, but I see I'm not wanted." He turned around and stepped out of the room. "Wait! What do you mean, _join_ me? Hiiragizawa-kun! What are we doing?!"

He froze. "I really don't know." Then he left. Tomoyo was hasty to wrap a towel around herself before leaping after him. She caught him at the end of the stairs.

"Hiiragizawa."

"Daidouji." He turned and Tomoyo was shocked to find his deep blue eyes full of pain. "I.." He paused and she found her opportunity.

"Hiiragizawa, what about Mizuki-sensei? Weren't you with her yesterday at the wedding? Aren't you engaged?"

"Iie." He smiled sadly. "She told me she'd seen someone else for me. And someone else for her. I've met him. It was him she was with yesterday. They're married. Didn't you notice?"

Tomoyo let her hands fall to her sides. She shook her head, a pain stabbing in her heart. She had been to busy watching Sakura smile. To preoccupied in tricking herself into thinking those smiles were for her, that Sakura was smiling for her..

He cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to face him. "I..." He kissed her. And she let him. She drowned in his soft lips, imagining them to be Sakura's. When he lifted her up, she smiled into the kiss and sneaked her hands into his hair. It was as soft as silk...

"No..." She could hear him murmur. "No... It's not right... You're not her..." And they both stiffened.

He let her down onto the floor. She untangled her hands from his hair and once again let them fall to her sides. She could feel her cheeks flaring up into a dark shade of crimson. "You're not her.." He repeated, staring into her eyes. "Not.. her..." And she could see his eyes fill with pain again, as if she was the one who had rejected him, casting him away, when it was opposite.

"So what?" She heard herself say. "So what if I'm not her? Don't you need comfort?" She sniffed slightly, her eyes going blurry again as they had done countless times the previous day. "Don't you need someone you can pretend to be her, if only for a short time?" She gritted her teeth and felt the fluffy material of her towel fall off her body. "I... need... someone..." She sat down on the floor, hugging her knees. She sobbed. "to love.." She felt his arms around her, lifting her up, carrying her back upstairs to her bed. She could feel him kissing her tears away and touching her as Sakura never would. She felt loved. But it wasn't Sakura.

"Sakura..." She buried her fingers into his hair once again as he traced kisses down her neck.

He could get lost in her, pretending her to be someone else. Someone he loved. "Kaho..."

  
  
  
  


_ Even if my love reaches the breaking point, you won't realize 1/3 of it  
My true feelings are just spinning in the air, I can't even get my heart to say  
"I love you"_

  
  
  
  
She hadn't seen him since Sakura and Li-kun's wedding. He'd left immediately after their second union and from what she'd heard, he'd taken the first plane back to England. He'd ran away. She didn't blame him, it was for the best. It wasn't like they were destined to be together like Sakura and Syaoran. But still... He hadn't even said goodbye...

Two years had passed since then and she had gotten but one or two letters from him. She suspected him to be embarresed about what they had shared together. Not that she wasn't. It was slightly awkward, yes, and she hadn't written more to him either, but this was Eriol. She couldn't picture him touched by something like that, but he had been so heartbroken when he'd talked about Kaho that she suspected him of having a heart.

Tomoyo smiled to herself. It was good to get out of Japan. Out of her childhood town of Tomoeda where all her memories of Sakura lay, carefully wrapped up in each place, everything just as special as the other.

Her buisness had taken an unexpected turn too... From being a small shop in Tokyo, it had grown to quite a chain, and she was on her way to London to open the first Daidouji Fashion store in England. And Sakura... Sakura was left behind, in those parks and classrooms of Tomoeda. And Tomoyo had seen how happy she was with Syaoran. She wouldn't want to go back to that pain. And by doing this... She didn't think she had to..

"Please put on your seatbelts. We will be landing in 5 minutes time." A female voice loomed out of the speakers over Tomoyo's head. She fastened her seatbelt as the lamp was lit. Outside, she could see Heathrow and London, covered in mist.

  
  
It was early in the morning, about 4 o'clock or so and most of the London's inhabitants were fast asleep in their beds, but not Hiiragizawa Eriol. He was sitting in his library, reading silently to himself. He hadn't been able to sleep lately. It had been like this in the time before he'd fallen for Kaho, before he was testing Sakura and before Kaho left him.... It was like he was uneasy for something that was about to happen, even though he was possitive that there was nothing out of the ordinary.

Sakura was living in Hong Kong with Syaoran and his family and he hadn't felt her use any magic lately. Fujitaka and son had moved with her, since Yukito and Yue had decided together it was better for them to follow the Clow Card Mistress. He'd heard Tomoyo's buisness had blossomed, and that her mother and father had made contact again. _Everything_ was perfect. _Everything._

Eriol threw the book on top of the table beside him, running his hand through his hair in distress. It was so frustrating! He just wanted to sleep. He just wanted rest...

Sighing silently to himself, he got up and picked the book up from the table. He put it back into place before exiting the room. He intended to go to the kitchen for something to drink, but stopped in the hall at the sight of his coat and shoes. Maybe a walk would clear his head...?

Eriol dressed and closed the door silently behind him, careful not to wake up Nakuru or Spinel Sun. The cool fresh night air hit him with delightful force and Eriol sighed, a smile crossing his face. He heard the usual night-sounds mingling with the wind's quiet breeze. It was soothing.

He walked the streets, moving closer and closer to the heart of the city. Taxies were zooming back and forth, taking home drunk men and women from a night out.

_Drunk like we were that time..._

He regretted slightly for his hasty departure, without bidding his farewells, but he couldn't do anything about it, could he? She probably hated him now, for taking advantage of her when she still grieved over her loss of her love. And just so he could make himself believe she was Kaho, as if one night of passion could make him forget her.

One long-stretched limousine stopped some metres away from him and he watched it in slight interest as the driver got out and opened for whomever could afford such a luxury.

A woman stepped out. She was rather slim, far beyond what was fashionable so, but still bore herself with grace. Her grey eyes glanced at him before she dissappeared inside a building. Eriol stood still for a few seconds before shrugging and walking further into London.

She had had such a haunted look in her eyes. As if she desperately wanted someone to care, to see her for what she really was. A little frightened girl with too much weighing on her shoulders. Too much honour to bear.

Eriol was reminded of Tomoyo, who smiled even when she was insulted, even when someone questioned her. Even when Sakura was taken from her. But she had collapsed in front of him that morning, two years ago. Sakura had been taken far far away. And Tomoyo... Tomoyo had had too much emotions to bear at that time. She'd said she wanted someone to love. That she needed someone. And he had needed someone too and it had all been too much for him to hold himself and _not_ take her into his arms, so he did. And that had haunted him in the two years that had past. Like a shadow.

He sighed and sat down on a bench near Kings Cross. The streets were completely deserted now, except a stray cat that glanced at him briefly with it's piercing yellow eyes before meowing and moving away from him. It was rather cute, he had to admit, in that ruffly sort of way.

Again, a sigh. Standing up, he could see the horizon changing slowly from black to dark blue, then fading to light blue and over to small specks of gold. _How beautiful..._

It was too cold to stand and watch the sunrise here, he decided, and headed home. He stopped where he had seen the honourful lady thirty minutes before. Once again, he watched a limousine stop and the driver opening the back door. And once again, a woman stepped out. Her long ebony hair fell in ringlets down her slender back, illuminating her form and drawing him in. She helped the chauffeur unload her suit cases and as the limousine drove off, he could see her gazing up at the hotel, blinking rapidly.

Eriol didn't have any recollection of starting to walk, or crossing the streets, or tapping her shoulder, but two seconds later, he was faced with the brightest pair of amethyst eyes he'd ever seen.

"Hiiragizawa... kun..." She whispered and he felt shame. Shame for leaving her without saying goodbye. Without explaining a thing.

"Daidouji.. san..."

  
  
  
  


_ On the long, sleepless nights, the images I send to you  
Whisper "that is love".  
Continuously shaking speech that moves you to tears  
Changes into a slight fever mingled with a sigh_

  
  
  
  
He didn't know what made him do it, asking her to stay with them, in his mansion. But he had, and now, he couldn't change the invitation. She had been sceptical, careful not to be intruding, but he had insisted and she had accepted, rather reluctantly, and he had seen that she felt a bit uncomfortable.

He watched her sit in his living room, rigid and stiff, as if she didn't want to be there, like a little girl, forced into sitting with her parents when they had guests, longing for that moment of freedom when she could be excused and go to bed. Dreaming of sun-filled days of adulthood, when no one could force you into anything. But the little girl had been disappointed, her dreams proved wrong, as she remained in this living room and couldn't run off.

"Eto, Daidouji-san..." He was afraid of her hearing his voice quiver. Afraid of her hearing he was nervous. "What are you doing in England?" He could see her relaxing as he spoke and he smiled slightly.

"I'm opening the first Daidouji Fashion store in England." She smiled too, a dazzling smile, making him even more nervous and he hoped dearly that she didn't notice.

Silence. Broken only by the soft chirping of early morning birds from outside the windows. It hit Eriol that neither Nakuru or Spinel Sun had been informed of Tomoyo's presence. Nakuru would probably have a field day when he entered the living room and his long lost friend from Tomoeda was there.

"Hiiragizawa-kun?" He returned his attention to her, watching her as she fingered with the tea cup in her hands. "Hm.. Could you show me around London one of these days? I've never been here before."

He nodded, the awkward silence returning as they sipped their tea. He could see her observing his garden, the morning sun casting long rays of yellow over the spring flowers, pearly drops of dew glittering in the light. She smiled, and he caught himself in staring.

"Hiiragizawa..?" She said, all politeness forgotten. She didn't turn her head, but continued watching the garden. "You are very good at gardening."

"Thank you. Would you like a tour, maybe?"

She nodded vigoursly, then yawned. "I'm sorry, I'm a little tired. I couldn't sleep on the plane."

He jumped up, and all he could do from stopping himself of sweeping her up from the chair was opening the door and indicating politely to her. "Maybe you would like to sleep a few hours before your long day?"

She got up and nodded gratefully. "Arigatou, Hiiragizawa-kun. That would be nice."

He took her bags and showed her her room, making sure it was not to hard finding for her. He knew from experience that his manor was a bit hard of finding your way through, if you weren't used to it.

As the door closed in front of him, Eriol sighed slightly and yawned himself. As he walked to his own bedroom, morning rays of sunlight warming his cold bare feet, he realized he was content with having Tomoyo there. Maybe they now could regain their friendship that had been forgotten and lost in those white sheets two years ago. He hoped so. It had been lonely without Tomoyo's letters to look forward too every day he got home from school. And that one letter he had gotten, informing him that Sakura and Syaoran were getting married... He could see her tears in it, staining the crumpled paper with an unnamed emotion. She had know, of course, but it was still too much to take for her, crushing her down into fine dust, spreading her heart out in that letter, spilling it in front of him.

And she had crumbled once again, at his feet, that morning six months later. Crumbled as he had when Kaho had left him. The wound was still open and he hated her now. Hated her for making him feel this way. Hated her for making him that miserable that he'd take advantage of a friend in her dark hours, when all she had wanted was someone to tell her it would be alright.

But even if Tomoyo brought back old feelings and regrets of Kaho from him, he wanted her friendship. And for the first time in days, Eriol fell asleep.

  
  
  
  


_ Give me a smile and shiny days, by your smile  
I can withstand the cold of a frozen night._

  
  
  
  
"Hiiragi- Eriol-kun!" She corrected herself, using his first name, as he had requested the day after her arrival. It had been two weeks now. The renovation of the premesis where her new store would be established was going along quite well and she allowed herself some free time.

He turned his head fast, his whole face lighting up as he spotted her, running lightly towards him across the veranda. She was carrying grocery bags and he frowned. "Tomoyo-san. Did Nakuru make you do the shopping for him?"

"Iie. I volenteered. To be honest, he seemed quite relieved." Eriol shook his head. Nakuru would do anything to not to the grocery shopping. But looking for clothes was a different matter.

"You're going to show me the garden today. I promised me two weeks ago and I still haven't seen it." She pouted, making Eriol laugh. "Tomoyo-san, now you look like you're eleven again."

"Well, no one knows me here, so I can afford to act a little childish." She placed her bags on the table in front of him and stretched. "The clerk thought I was nineteen! He gaped when I told him to add eight years."

She laughed, making it sound like silver running off her tounge. He had become enchanted with her, he realized and stirred. She grabbed the bags once again and dashed into the house, calling behind her a cheerful "I'll just put these in the fridge!"

_Hiiragizawa Eriol, what have you gotten yourself into..._

Tomoyo returned twenty minutes later. She had changed, he noticed briefly. The pants had been replaced by a fairly long yellow skirt and a matching jacket. "So, are you guiding me, then?" She smiled brightly at him and he took her arm when she offered it.

She listened in interest as he showed her through the plants and blossoms, ever so intently as if this would be coming up on some exam. He noted with a bit of sadness her small pained expression as she spotted the sakura tree at the back of his house. She tried hiding it, but he noticed and she knew.

The sun was setting when they finally were finished, a small smile playing across Tomoyo's lips as the garden was bathed in a lazy amber. They entered the house, Nakuru coming towards them, a wide grin plastered all over his face.

"I have dinner ready!" He exclaimed just as cheerful as ever and they could see Spinel lying on the kitchen counter, fast asleep. Tomoyo giggled. "Did you feed him sweets again, Nakuru-san?"

Nakuru nodded, his curls bouncing. Eriol shook his head in feigned distress. "What am I going to do with you too...?"

"I AM NOT DRUNK!" was heard and a thud followed. Tomoyo giggled more as Spinel fell off the counter and rolled on the floor. "Just be glad he's that drunk and asleep, not trying to grill us with his beams." Nakuru rolled his eyes.

"Too late." He said, indicating to his fried hair.

"So, Nakuru-san, what's for dinner?" Tomoyo asked politely as Nakuru observed his hair quite miserably. He instantly lit up and started going on about how he had spent sooooooooo much time on it and that he hoped she liked it. Eriol sweatdropped. So did Tomoyo.

  
  
After Tomoyo had gone to bed that night, Eriol stayed up in the living room, sitting in front of the lit fire. Nakuru observed him as he stared into the flames, a far away look on his face. The moon guardian smiled slightly before standing up, announcing his departure for bed. Eriol took almost no notice, just nodded.

_When she laugh like that... It doesn't touch her eyes..._ Eriol sighed. He stood up himself after a few minutes, making his way up the staircase to his room. Tomoyo's door was ayar, the light inside casting a stripe of white across the floor. Eriol had assumed she had gone to bed already and found this intriguing and puzzling.

He tiptoed over to the door and peeked inside. Tomoyo couldn't be seen. The outfit she had worn earlier was lying on her bed, folded neatly. Opening the door a bit more, he could see that the door to her bathroom was open. He blushed and turned, stepping back outside.

He had seen her there... In the shower, fog covering the curtains up, making it seem surreal. He breathed hard, pinching himself as if to wake up, but he didn't. It was real. He was Hiiragizawa Eriol, living in a mansion in London, with a beautiful lady named Daidouji Tomoyo visiting and she was taking a shower. In his house. Naked.

Eriol flushed a deep crimson and slapped himself. It was Tomoyo. His childhood friend from Tomoeda. And even though they had that moment together, two years before, he just wanted friendship... Right?

Eriol rushed from her room and into his own, breathing hard. He flung down on the bed and shook his head. _Stop thinking like that. You're acting like an idiot. It's not like you would care for her like you did Kaho. She isn't her. Stop it, Eriol, you baka._

He fell asleep there, still in his clothes and like that he was found by Daidouji Tomoyo, a few hours later, when she sneaked her way into his room because she couldn't fall sleep and somehow she wanted to watch _him_ sleep, as if it would help her on the way into dream land.

_Hiiragizawa-kun..._ A small smile crept up her face as she stroked the hair out of his eyes and removed his glasses. _He looks like a child when he sleeps... So unguarded..._  
She sat there, just looking at him for a while. Not until the early morning hours, when the sun had begun to cast it's blurry rays of light over the horizon, did she fall asleep.

  
  
  
  
_

Even if my love reaches the breaking point, you won't realize 1/3 of it  
My true feelings are just spinning in the air, I can't even get my heart to say  
"I love you"

_

  
  
  
  
He clapped as she cut the string and the english Daidouji Fashion employees cheered. She was smiling so brightly that it was almost blinding, but he continued looking at her, taking her in. She was very beautiful. She had always been, he had noted that in grade school, so calm and composed, with long ebony hair flowing down her back and dark eyes that could make your heart jump if she looked at you.

He had noticed that he had become enchanted by her, as if she held some sort of power over him that he couldn't control. It was very frustrating, being the strongest magician in the world and not being able to control one woman. But he didn't mind that much anymore. All he wanted was for her to be with him like Kaho had. He was in love with her.

She walked to him, a smile brightening her face and features, making her even more beautiful.

"That went well."

He nodded, not being able to speak.

She took his hand and giggled. "Let's get out of here." Then he was dragged out of the premises and onto the parking lot. The night air was cool as it had been on the morning of her arrival, making her shiver slightly. He slipped his jacket over her shoulders and she smiled gratefully at him. Damnit. If she only knew what effect her smiles had on him.

"Hey, have you heard this song?" She looked up at him. "What song?"

She paused. "I think it's called Winter Wish... It's from an anime-" Laughter. "Yes, I do watch anime still. Anyway, it's from an anime named Love Hina. Ever heard of it?"

"I've heard of the anime, not the song." He gazed up at the sky. "Would you sing it for me?"

"How such small happiness is warming our important moment  
Hey, inside this heart and mind, a feeling began to grow...  
Your eyes, your voice, but I care for you the most  
Falling snow pieces that's rolling on my cheek are changing my tears  
Forever be by my side, don't let go of these hands  
Upon the winter sky, the twinkling stars is surrounding both of us  
White shoulders, white breath, feeling you deeply as my winter wish..."

She stopped. "That's all I know. But I love it." Tomoyo stood up and took his hand. "Are we going home th-"

He kissed her. Not because he wanted a replacement for Kaho, but because he had fallen in love again. Even if he hadn't thought that to be possible, it had happened. And with Tomoyo, of all people.

She didn't resist. She had wanted to take the initiative ever since he had shown her around his garden and allowed her to see a small fragment of his heart. She desired him, wanted to claim him as hers, wanted to feel and know him.

But was she ready for this? Could she love him completely? Love? Such a funny word. These days, it was thrown around and used too much. Sakura said she loved her, but it wasn't the type of love she had wanted. Was this then? What Eriol offered her, did she really want it from him? Or did she merely desire him? It was confusing, yes, but Tomoyo didn't want to let go of him, if she did, she had a feeling she would never get the chance to feel like this again.

They broke apart, both panting. She smiled at him rather sadly and could see his face falter, his eyes filling with pain. He left go of her, excusing himself.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It wasn't in my place to do that." He fumbled with his sweater, but she took led her hands on both sides of his face and rose to meet his face in another kiss, because she wanted to be sure. That he did mean this, that he did want her.

He murmured something into the kiss that made her smile. _I'm in love with you_.   
  
  
  
_

Like rain in the middle of summer, the dry bareness moistens,  
your smile is bright.

_

  
  
  
  
"Why didn't you come to the airport?" An enraged Akizuki Nakuru demanded, towering over his master. "The look on her face when I told her you weren't coming! It was heartbreaking. Why are you running away from her again?"

Eriol sighed. "I couldn't. She's still in love with Sakura-chan."

"No, she's not! Can't you see it?! I saw it since the first day she was here. You two have some sort of bond. It's like you were meant to be." Nakuru huffed and shook his head, walking away from him in rage. He couldn't understand what Eriol's problem were. He knew they loved eachother, but noooooo, let's _NOT_ make something of it.

_Meant to be... Meant to be..._ The words echoed in Eriol's mind. Where had he heard them before? That's right.... Kaho... Her voice came back to him now. What was it she had said?

_There's someone else for you. Someone who were intended for you. You are meant to be with her, not me._

That was it.

Eriol's eyes widened and he jumped up from the chair he was sitting in. It was Tomoyo, he realized with a jolt. It was Tomoyo Kaho had meant. But her plane had left... She was gone. Back to Japan.

He rushed inside the house and yelled for Nakuru. The pink moon guardian appeared a few moments after, obviously still mad, for he snapped at Eriol. "What is it?"

"Order me a ticket to Tokyo with the next plane." Nakuru's eyes lit up and he squealed in delight. "You're going after her!" Then he hurried to the phone.

10 minutes later, Eriol was ready to go. "The next plane leaves tomorrow, so I ordered a privat jet! Ganbatte, Eriol-sama!!" Was the last thing Eriol heard as he rushed out the door, jumped into his car and broke every speed limit from his house to Heathrow.

  
  
"She wasn't there." Eriol said, and heard an outburst from Nakuru on the other end.

"What do you mean, "She wasn't there"? Where is she then?"

"The maids told me she was going to Hong Kong to visit Sakura-chan and Xiao Lang."

"Then go after her!" Nakuru began to sound frustrated.

"What was I was planning!" Eriol sighed. "But the jet had left and there is no other plane that's leaving for Hong Kong in a week! There's some kind of strike."

"Aren't there boats that goes every hour? "

"Are there?"

Ten minutes later, Eriol hung up. Nakuru had explained him the way after getting a brochure he'd purchased on their last trip to Tokyo. He did find his way somehow and it was only about two hours since he'd arrived in Tokoy that Eriol was on a boat to Hong Kong. It was an overnight trip, but he couldn't sleep. He kept wondering what he'd say when he saw her. If he'd just stand silent and look like an idiot or actually tell her how he felt. That he'd realized she was the one that was meant for him. That she was the "Voice", Kaho had been talking about.

It was only as Eriol dozed off, that he realized he didn't know if Tomoyo loved him too. She had never replied when he'd said he was in love with her. He wasn't even sure he'd said it outloud. They had just left it at those two kisses and not mentioned them again.

_What are you doing, Eriol, chasing after a woman who's in love already? You know it's in vain..._

  
  
  
  


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**A/N:**I have to split this up into two, since my stupid html program won't allow files over 30 kb...urgh.


	2. Break Me

_Part two of "1/3 no junjou na kanjou"_

  
  
_Disclaimer:_ You know the drill, they're not mine. And if they were, I would throw out Kaho and pair Tomoyo with Eriol in a second. ^^  
Somewhere in here, I've taken some lyrics from Jewel. Again, not mine.

__________________________________ 

  
  
  
  
"Tomoyo-chan!" Tomoyo turned at the sound of her name and her face lit up as Li Sakura's arms were hugging her. "I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you too, Sakura-chan." Tomoyo smiled. It had been a long time since she'd seen her best friend and she'd missed her dearly.

"Ni hao, Daidouji-san." Behind Sakura, Syaoran was standing, smiling very brightly at his friend and wife. Tomoyo smiled back. "It's good to see you two again. How's Meiling-san?"

Sakura released Tomoyo and almost jumped up and down of joy to see her best friend after such a long time. "She insisted on coming to get you too! She's parking the car." And as if on cue, Tomoyo's name was called and she was glomped yet again, this time by an over-exited Li Meiling. Behind Meiling, a tall man with dark hair followed, looking a bit awkward.

"Hello." He greeted. "I'm-" But Meiling caught him to it. "This is Rae Fei, my fianceé."

Tomoyo squealed and congratulated Meiling, who was beaming. _Everyone is in love_, Tomoyo noted with sadness and yet with satisfaction. _So good for them._

  
"Tomoyo-chan," Sakura drew her attention again, while Fei and Syaoran tried stuffing Tomoyo's luggage into the back of the car. "How was Eriol-kun?"

Tomoyo blushed slightly. "He was fine. He sends his best to you and Syaoran-kun." She smiled at Sakura. "I had a great time in London, don't worry." _Yes, a great time..._ But it all had seemed to fall apart for her when Nakuru had told her that Eriol weren't coming to the airport.

She'd almost started crying, but had been able to reply with a weak "Tell him my best" before boarding her plane. And now, she probably wouldn't see him for years. She wondered if it had been better if she had told him her feelings for him, if he would've come after her. There was nothing she could do about that now. She was in Hong Kong, with Sakura after so many months and she _was_ going to enjoy herself. Eriol wasn't going to be in her mind these weeks. She would just get down if he was.

_You need to forget about him, Tomoyo. He was just saying those things. He doesn't really care about you that way._

  
  
"TOMOYO-CHAN!!!!" Four pairs of arms were embracing her at once and Tomoyo sweatdropped. Syaoran's sisters hadn't changed much..  
"Sakura-chan has missed you soooooooooooo much!", "How's your mother?", "What have you been doing?" and "Got a boyfriend yet?" were questions launched at her at the same time.  
Nope, they definitly hadn't changed much.

Tomoyo was able to detach herself from their grasp just as Li Yelan entered the room. "Daidouji-san." The tall, raven-haired lady smiled at her and it once again struck Tomoyo how much she reminded her of her mother, when she wasn't all lovey-dovey-remembering-Nadeshiko, that is.

"Li-sama." Tomoyo smiled back. Yelan seemed older somehow. Of course, she had aged since the last time they'd spoken, but she didn't particulary strike Tomoyo as the one who would grow old. Yelan was always so impassive, an ice-queen, yet with deep feelings and compassion for those that crossed her path. There was an air of royalty around her, for it wasn't for anything the Li clan were one of the most respected in Hong Kong.

"As my daughter so enthusiasticly informed you, my daughter-in-law has missed you. And if I'm not mistaken, so has my son. And niece." She added, glancing at Meiling. The girl grinned at Tomoyo and gave her thumbs-up. "I would like to speak further with you, but for now, we'll let Sakura and Xiao Lang lead you to your room. Is that fine with you?"

Tomoyo nodded, her curly hair bouncing slightly off her back. Sakura took her hand and practicly dragged her out of the room and down a hall. Syaoran followed after them, a smile playing across his lips at his wife's actions. It was like they were eleven again and back in Tomoeda. Sakura was really glad Tomoyo had visited and Syaoran was relieved. She had been feeling quite down lately, but he hadn't been able to tell why.

"Tomoyo, where do you want to sleep? Yelan suggested a room in the east wing. It's very cosy and cute."

"Anywhere would be fine, Sakura." Tomoyo smiled at Syaoran, who smiled back. They watched Sakura bounce down the hallway, beckoning for them to follow. Smiling, they did. Sakura would never change. "So, how's the sexlife going for you?" Tomoyo grinned as Syaoran flushed a deep crimson. "T-Tomoyo-chan!"

"What, what? Just asking." She winked at him. "But you are both 27, going on 28, Syaoran, isn't it time to think about things like that?" He shrugged and gave a slight nod. "I guess."

Tomoyo giggled. "You've been married for 2 years, been together for over 10, and you're STILL embaressed about sex with your own wife?"

Syaoran stuck his tounge out at her. "I'm not, it's just that... I don't like discussing it." Tomoyo burst out laughing. "You're 27! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh, it's just that... My god, Syaoran, I wasn't expecting this from you."

"You brought it up!" He said offensivly.

"Hai hai.." She let it drop, but still wore an amused grin.

"This is your room!" Sakura had stopped in front of a huge door that covered most of the wall in front of them. She beamed and opened the doors, revealing the most magnificent room Tomoyo had ever laid eyes on. Well, maybe except Hiiragizawa's library.

Even though it was so enourmous, Tomoyo had to agree with Sakura, her new residence was rather cosy and cute. The large bed standing in the middle of the room had soft, transparent drapes hanging from the frame surrounding it, there were a lot of pillows, so fluffy and white-looking that Tomoyo just wanted to bury her face into them and stay there.  
She didn't. But she did fling herself down on the soft mattrasses and sighed of contentment.

"Like it?" Sakura said, even though she knew what she would get for an answer.

"Love it." Came the slightly muffled answer of Tomoyo, banishing Sakura's concern.

"I'm glad."

Syaoran embraced Sakura and smiled at their friend. Tomoyo grinned back. "It's truly very nice to see you two again."

The couple exited the room, leaving Tomoyo alone, something she was truly grateful for. She was tired after her long flight and fell asleep almost immediately.

Out in the hallway, Syaoran slipped his hand into Sakura's. "She seemed sad somehow."

"Mh." Sakura nodded. "I know. I keep wondering if it has anything to do with her trip to England and Eriol-kun."

  
  
Meanwhile, still out on sea, Eriol stirred in his sleep. 

  
  
  
  
_

Give me a smile and shiny days, don't clear up so quickly!  
Because we can overcome any wall that stands in our way.

_

  
  
  
  
"Daidouji-san, could we speak for a while?" Tomoyo was tapped on the shoulder by Yelan, who smiled softly at her. Tomoyo nodded and excused herself from talking with Touya and Yukito. They had been so happy to see her again, something she found surprising, for she had rarely talked intimatly with Touya or Yuki.

Yelan led her down some halls and out on a veranda. The head of the Li clan motioned for Tomoyo to sit down in one of the chairs sat out for them. She did so, folding her arms in her lap.

"Sakura informed me you went to England and saw our ancestor?" Tomoyo nodded, she wasn't surprised that Yelan knew. It was _Yelan_ after all, the queen of perceptance.

"I can see he is troubling your mind." This, however, did surprise Tomoyo and she started slightly before replying with a soft "Hai". She could feel a blush coming on and tried brushing it off, but Yelan noticed.

The older woman smiled. "I'm going to tell you something even my son does not know. I presume Hiiragizawa-kun knows of course, but that would be because the Bell told him." Tomoyo looked up puzzled and questiongly. The Bell..?

Yelan continued. "There was one woman that Clow Reed treasured in his life-time. Only one. Her name was Murasaki Kasai. They were very close. So close that Clow asked her to marry him. She accepted, because she loved him too." The woman paused and smiled sadly. "But they never got married. Kasai fell ill after being wounded in a battle with Clow's enemies. She died. Clow was heartbroken and swore never to love again. But, she made sure they would meet in an afterlife." Yelan sat down, looking intently at Tomoyo.

"Have you ever wondered how it must be like for Hiiragizawa-san to just have half a soul?" Tomoyo nodded. "Do you know who has the other part?" Again, she had to confirm. Sakura had told her. It was Kinomoto Fujitaka, Sakura's father.  
Yelan smiled. "And have you ever felt that you weren't complete? That you were missing something in your spirit?"

"Yes, I have." Tomoyo was getting confused. Yelan was speaking in riddles. The head of the Li clan were known for it, but had always a point. Tomoyo was just hoping she would get there soon.

"Kasai has also been reborn in this time. Split, like Clow. One half of her soul belonged to Amamiya Nadeshiko, who fell in love and married Kinomoto Fujitaka and the other... was transferred into you, Daidouji-san." Tomoyo gaped. "Wait wait wait. Me?"

"Yes."

The younger woman fell silent. It was true, she had felt like she wasn't complete, but... That she only had half a soul? That couldn't be it. Tomoyo gasped. "Then... What I loved in Sakura was... Was I only attracted to her magic, to her relations with Clow?"

Yelan shook her head. "No. That was your own choice."

"But then... Why didn't I feel anything for Eriol-kun when he first arrived in Tomoeda, if we were destined to be?"

At this, Yelan smiled. "You see, Clow didn't believe what Kasai had said on her deathbed. That they would meet again. So he set up a plot. He had to send half his soul to Kinomoto Fujitaka and the other half to Hiiragizawa Eriol. One of them should meet Murasaki Kasai's first half and they would fall in love at first sight. The other had to go through heartbreak, befriend Kasai's ancestor and then realize she was it. This, Kasai's other half had to go through too."

It dawned on Tomoyo. Mizuki Kaho was the first woman Eriol had loved and the first to splinter his heart into million pieces. Sakura had been the first Tomoyo loved and the first to crush her heart. Then, Eriol and her had become friends and she'd fallen in love with him.

"You see? It was all meant to be."

  
  
  
  
Eriol's taxi drove up to the Li clan's manor. He was trembling as he paid the driver and sent the car off. He didn't know if she would have him. What if she didn't believe him? What if she said she didn't want to see him again? What if she said she hated him...? He didn't know if he could take that. Then again, if it was truly meant to be, she wouldn't do that. Would she?

He shook off the thoughts and rang the bell in front of the gate. Minutes later, he was standing in the hallway, being greeted by Xiao Lang's sisters and Meiling.  
Meiling smiled at him and whispered. "She's upstairs, want me to get her?"

Eriol nodded, a blush creeping up his face. "My my, Hiiragizawa, you've really come ouf of the left field." Said Meiling, grinning. "You were never this cautious about a girl." Then she bounced up the stairs to get Tomoyo.

  
  
Meiling knocked on Tomoyo's door and waited for the "Come in" before entering. Sakura was inside with her friend and the whole bed was covered in chocolate wrappings. Meiling gaped. "What's going on?"

"I'm pregnant!" Sakura burst out before hugging the girl, tears of joy running down her cheeks. Meiling looked bewildered at Tomoyo, who nodded confirmingly, smiling at her. 'It's truel.' She mouthed. Meiling squealed and congratulated Sakura.

"Does Syaoran know? Can I tell him!? Did you just find out?!"

"No, no and yes." Sakura laughed. "I want to tell him myself." Tomoyo smiled at the two and opened the door. "I'll go get him."

"Thank you Tomoyo."

"Tomoyo-chan, wait! You have a guest! Go see him afterwards! I believe my cousins are asking him to stay for dinner." Tomoyo nodded and exited the room. She made her way to Syaoran and Sakura's bedroom. The door was open, but there was no one there. Shrugging, Tomoyo descended the stairs, in search of Syaoran. At the bottom, she could hear excited voices speaking in the living room, one of them being Syaoran's. She smiled and entered. Then, as she laid her eyes on a dark haired man, her smile faltered.

"Syaoran-kun, Sakura-chan wants to see you."

The two men spun around to face her and Syaoran smiled and excused himself before leaving for Tomoyo's bedroom. Eriol and Tomoyo was left in silence.

"You came after me." Tomoyo stated after a while. He nodded. "Why?"

"Because..." Eriol took a step towards her and paused. "Because..."

"Because what?"

"Because I had to see if it was true." He smiled. Rather boyishly, Tomoyo thought and she saw he was nervous. He was fidgeting with the buttons of his jacket and not looking at her. "If what Kaho told me when she left was true."

"And what was that?" Tomoyo was getting nervous herself now, because he was getting closer, taking steps towards her. At that moment, a thud was heard from upstairs and they both turned their attention to the upper level.

"What was that?" Eriol asked.

"Probably Sakura telling Syaoran that she's pregnant." Eriol went wideeyed and grabbed Tomoyo's hand, running with her up to Tomoyo's bedroom and tearing the door open. There lay Syaoran on the floor, swirly eyed and muttering to himself "I'm gonna be a father, I'm gonna be a father" over and over again, while Meiling was lying on Tomoyo's bed, laughing her head off. Sakura herself was giggling, confirming Syaoran's rants.

And despite her confusing of Eriol's arrival, despite the bottomless feeling in her heart, Tomoyo smiled.

  
  
  
  
_

Whoever you love, these images will reach them, right?  
Don't say you can find them, your words are dancing in space.  
The further apart you go, the more it hurts the person you love  
The more I chase them, the more my heart feels the cruel distance

_

  
  
  
  
"Eriol-kun, are you staying long?" Sakura looked at him over her tea cup, curled up in a couch besides Syaoran, holding her and smiling lovingly. Eriol almost snorted at the sight.

"I don't know. I've booked a hotel room, but I never gave them any dates." He glanced at Tomoyo as she entered the room with Meiling and Fei, but she just sat down next to Sakura. "A short visit, I'm thinking." The raven haired beauty looked up and watched him with narrow eyes.

"But you should stay here!!" Sakura burst out, almost spilling her green tea over Syaoran. He yelped. "Be a bit more careful, koishii!"

"Hai hai." Sakura brushed him off. "Will you stay here?"

"If nobody would mind..." Eriol started and stole another quick look at Tomoyo. She looked like she did mind, biting her lip, and at the sight, his heart sank. Sakura clapped her hands together and smiled. "Great! You can have the room next to Tomoyo-chan's!"

Tomoyo flinched, but the auburn haired girl didn't notice. Eriol, however, did, and immediately felt bad. He should've gone with her to the airport in the first place and avoided all this, but it was too late now.

"Tomoyo-chan, can you show him the room?" The addressed woman nodded and stood up with Eriol. She showed him out of the room and as soon as Syaoran could no longer see them walking up the stairs, he turned to his wife. "Koishii, are you mad?"

"I don't know what you mean." Sakura replied, innocently.

"You know what happened between them in England! You must have sensed it too! Giving them rooms next to eachother... Sakura!" Sakura stood up, putting the tea cup down on the table with a clatter. "Will you really just stand by and watch them come further apart?!" She huffed and started making her way to the kitchen. "I'm not. At least I can _try_ helping them." And with that, she left the room, carrying the tray of biscuits. Syaoran flew after her, apoligising the best he could.

Meiling leaned on her fianceé and smiled. "You don't think we'll ever be like that, do you?"

"What, like Sakura and Syaoran?" Meiling nodded. Fei grinned and lowered his head to whisper in her ear. "I'll think we'll be worse." And he was slapped playfully over the head.

  
  
Tomoyo walked in silence with Eriol down the hall to his room. She didn't really know what to say. What Yelan had said... That they were meant to be. She didn't know if she believed that. But... she knew she was lost to him. "This is your room."

They stopped and Tomoyo opened the door, letting him in. The room was quite similar to hers, but more... Eriol. It was blue, the drapes around the bed being of heavy velvet, deep ocean blue and soft to the touch. He had a spectacular view and a balcony, like she did. "It's pretty." She commented. "Yelan knows how to decorate."

Eriol nodded and put down his suitcase. "It's a lot like my bedroom." Tomoyo started, but didn't say anything. Eriol sat down on the couch, removed his glasses and closed his eyes. She watched him in interest, taking in his beautiful features. He was... handsome, yet, pretty, to the extent men could be pretty of course. And without his glasses, he looked vulnerable, as a child.

"Eriol-kun..." He opened his eyes and looked at her. "What were you going to tell me before? About what Mizuki-sensei told you when she left."

He closed his eyes again and didn't speak for a long time. She'd known it. He couldn't let go of her. "She told me.." He began and Tomoyo nearly jumped, for they had sat in silence for a while. "She told me that she and I weren't meant to be. That I was meant for someone else. She'd seen it in her dreams, she said, that there would come a Voice to me and befriend me and I'd fall in love with that Voice. She said she had only been the Bell to announce the Voice's arrival. That I was meant to be with that Voice." Eriol paused. "I didn't understand it until two days ago, after you left. 'The Bell' that she mentioned was refering to her and the heirloom Clow Reed left in her family to give to Sakura. 'The Voice'..." Then he stopped.

Tomoyo sat down on the table right opposite him. "The Voice...?" She asked carefully, but he didn't reply. She reached out and touched his cheek, and he opened his eyes, gazing at her. "The Voice.." He continued then. ".. was refering to you and your singing." Silent tears ran down her cheeks and she smiled through her tears. "I love you." And he kissed her.

They broke apart and Tomoyo partly whispered, partly sang to him. "You could hurt me with your bare hands. You could hurt me using the sharp end of what you say. But I'm lost to you now and there's no amount of reason that could save me. So break me."   
  
  
  
_

Give me a smile and shiny days,   
Give me a smile and nice days,   
If only we could meet in an embrace...  
Whoever you love, these images will reach them, right?  
If only you had said so in your dreams

_

  
  
  
  
"Did you know?" She asked him as they lay together on the couch, flipping through the channels.

"Know what?" He replied lazily, turning off the tv and focusing his attention on her. "About Murasaki Kasai?" She nodded. "No, I didn't. Not until Kaho told me." She stuck her tounge out at him. "Kaho told you everything, didn't she?"

"Well, yes. But I didn't believe it until I fell for you." He smirked.

"You charmer."

"You like that."

"So?"

"Well, I know more that you like..." He kissed her. "You like it when you kiss you."

She smiled.

"You like it when I stroke your back."

She shivered as his hand ran down her spine and up again.

"And you like it when I... do this." And he whispered in her ear. "I love you."

"And don't you forget it."

"There's things I like too." She smirked slightly, as if knowing what he was up too. "And what is that at the moment?"

He leered and slipped his right arm around her back and the other beneath her knees. She kissed him, sneaking her hands around his neck and into his hair. As he carried her to the bedroom, she whispered to him, making him smile.

"I like that too."

  
  
  
  
_

Even if my love reaches the breaking point, you won't realize 1/3 of it  
My true feelings are just spinning in the air, I can't even get my heart to say  
"I love you"

_

  
  


__________________________________________________________ 

**A/N**: Just for the information, "Murasaki" translates to _Violet_ and "Kasai" would be _Fire_. Since they read the name with the lastname first in Japan, the phrase "Murasaki Kasai" becomes _Violet Fire_. If you read it the western way, it's _Fire Violet_, something that doesn't make that much sense... Anyway.  
And for the one who corrected gratefull to greatfull(can't bother to go check, I'm lazy.. ^^), I just held down the 'l' button to long. It's supposed to be "grateful" as in she's happy he did that. :)

Nyaaaaa, I liked the ending! ^^ What? It's not like I'm actually gonna write what happens next. We have to maintain the PG-13 rating. *grin* Anyway, feedback would be much appriciated!


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